Facing Cancer Once Again

Hearing the words "Cancer is back" is just as devistating as it was the first time you hear it.  Cancer is something that happens to someone else, not you.  I remember the first time as well as if it was yesterday.  Looking to have elective surgery 2 1/2 years ago, I needed a lung clearance.  After having a chest x-ray, the pulmonary doctor said that the radiologist saw something on the lung.  He couldn't see it, but thought a CT Scan would be the best thing to do.  Nothing appeared on the lung, but something did appear on the liver.  He said, "You need to see a Gastrologist right away".  A bit frightened, I made the appointment and there began my journey of test after test.  I never thought it truly was cancer...until I ended up at a liver surgeon that said we need to have a biopsy.  Going to the building even where the liver surgeon was, was my first nervous clue.  The building was named "The Cancer Center".  I had my husband with me and a very close friend.  Talk about your mouth becoming dry, and your body beginning to shake as those words pentrated your mind.  God, please not let this be true.  You see I have served God most of my adult life with much perservance and passion.  I trusted Him with all of my life.  I was about to trust Him in an area that I thought I would never face, the dreaded "C" word.  It was an incidental find.  I would have to admit that God was with me.  It happened to be a rare form of cancer called "Neuro Endrocine".  I scoured the internet to see just what it was all about.  Sometime good, sometimes it just creates more fear.  I ended up having a liver resection, 1 month in the hospital, 2 times in ICU, 2 weeks in rehab and a month home recouperating.  I made it through with many obstacles to overcome.  But God was faithful.  Now I face cancer again.  Another incidental find.....and there we begin all over again.  I will write about real emotions, real fears, but my rest and peace is in trusting God.  Thus I begin my second journey.