The Oncologist Office

I have been going to the oncologist office now for over 2 1/2 years every month for a very expensive shot, to see the doctor and give blood.  I know every employee there by their name and know exactly what there job is.  Infact when I come in they say, "Hi, Mrs Rendulic".  Everyone in the waiting room looks at me and I comment, "Oh I am here way too much."  In fact I am there way too much.  But this comment sort of easys the tension in all the patients, their family and care givers sitting and waiting for their names to be called.  This can be a very depressing place.  You see so much, and hear so much as you sit and wait.  You see young women with wigs and hats which hides the obivious of hair loss.  You see people come in with their special pillows knowing they needed them to have their chemo treatment.  You hear doctors some out and tell the family they really need to admit their loved ones to the hospital because they need to have a blood tranfusion.  You see all kinds of emotions from relief to very sad.  You sit and are grateful that you are just coming for a shot and so far so good.  You always hold your breath waiting and hoping that all is well.  I had that for over 2 years until recently.  When I went 2 weeks ago, I had such an emotional time trying to wrap my head around the fact that yes cancer is back.  It is never what you want to hear and to hear it becomes numbing.  As I was leaving with all my test orders that day, with tears streaming down my face, and me mumbling something like "Sorry, I am just overwhelmed", the office manger of this onocologist came out to me, hugged me and said, "He (meaning the doctor) will take good care of you".  The office manager that maybe I have seen only a half dozen times in the last 2 years was so gracious to me.  As I thanked her, there was a lady sitting in the waiting room watching this and said to me, "Honey, there is God".  I know that but boy I sure needed to hear that at that time.  God is so faithful to remind you that even in the mist of dark clouds and unknown paths to walk down, He is there!   Even when you question, even when cry, even when you ask why me, He is there!  I have a journey to take, even when I do not want to.  But I do know that God will supply every support I need to make it through.  I want to say "Hats off to you who work in the medical field and see things happen everyday.  Hats off to you who support the patients with care and love".  You my friends are amazing....you make my journey easier.....God Bless You!